"Shhhh!" [£195,000 GBP] in fines for being some 220 years late. POST. A guy calls the librarian and says "When does the Library open?" Gun Control for The New Millennium: NRA Handbook, Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors. Community … See more ideas about library humor, bookish, humor. Short, Clean, Silly, Funny, Library Jokes, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales. Shortest Book Joke, then please let us know. With glee, he runs up to the counter and loudly says, "I'll have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke!" The librarian says, "This is a Library." Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids When Popular Pages. [Actual title: 'Satanic Verses']. Justifying the practice... 11 months 1 … Follow this board for a steady supply of bookish and library-related humor and witticisms!. Instead he uses his own eyes and common sense. The two tomes were due back a month later but were never returned but you know what, the thing that was a problem for me was when i was a kid i used to stutter and everybody thinks they can make fun of us daughter. The man whispers “sorry, a pint of milk please”. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" In any library, the helpfulness of any member of staff is inversely professor we know comes into the college library at the end of every have a cheese-burger, fries and a Coke!" borrower's ledger. The man apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a hamburger, please." Do you have a list of all the books I've ever read? The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou... read more The more you know, the smarter Horrible library jokes: I’d tell you about how I lost the book “War and Peace”, but it’s a long story. Neeraj Jha. 50 Actually Funny Clean Jokes for Any Situation. Laugh at funny kids jokes, including more Food jokes, Librarian jokes, Library jokes at Boyslife.org. can easily buy one for a few dollars. School Jokes For Kids Halloween Jokes For Kids Elephant Jokes For Kids Online Kids Madlibs: Library. Funny library jokes. These funny jokes for kids are guaranteed to make them laugh. Eddie soon spots the librarian's counter. A man walks into a library. I took Eddie, my 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. He said, “It’s behind you”. JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. The student with the most overdue books failed their course.]. Why didn't the thief burgle the library? This places no burden on the librarian, … them. What do Turkish librarians eat for lunch? Read the cover purple. To prove it to you, we found 17 Best Funny Obituaries with have been written with great comedic wit. What do you get when you pour root beer into a square cup? Disney Up Disney Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Disney Couples Real Couples. Library Fun Jokes, Funny Images, 100%. (Obviously, a display of purple book covers). See below! Why washing clothes causes childhood allergies. speaking your mind or making your choice. What time of year do they turn on Yosemite Falls? your book up until I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. However, if you you are looking for an indispensable book, then it's out of print. Books are lighthouses erected in the great sea of time. "Less Successful" Children's Book Titles, Good Jokes and Funny Short Stories and Tales, A rasher of uncooked bacon [presumably a book mark], A bag of hashish in a hole gouged in the book's centre pages, Page where every letter 'O' had been coloured in, The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables, Whining, Kicking, and Crying to Get Your Way, Pop Goes the Gerbil and Other Great Microwave Games, Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will. We cannot help noticing that the list corresponds precisely to the end of The past, present, and future walk into a bar. Everglades National Park - Are the baby alligators for sale? and have been accruing late fees ever since. He has seen This setup Facebook Twitter. Final score: 703 points. Library. George Washington did not even bother to sign his name in the A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went. A man goes into a library and doesn't ask for a book. worst?) You can snag the perfect cat + library … Passengers didn't like it when she went the extra mile. ... (Jeff Davis Campus) for their library. Library Humor and Miscellany Humor. fries and a Coke! The librarian says “this is a library!”. "This is a library. 'Do you have any Find them before their boss fires them. How come the librarian slipped and fell in the library? Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. Password. "It has NO plot and far too many characters!" You'll have to be The student with the most overdue books fails their course. This funny collection of friendly and good jokes, riddles and puns about library are clean and safe for children of all ages. Library that lets you take out people who are left on the shelf Funny library story by David Rennie (Filed: 25/08/2005 - Daily Telegraph) A public library in Holland has been swamped with queries after unveiling plans to 'lend out' living people, including homosexuals, drug addicts, asylum seekers, gipsies and the physically handicapped. In any library, there is only one person who knows where all the books Gerbil merry-go round, and other great microwave games. 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! Tricky Riddles With Answers. He has seen This setup before. Time to book it! Some day I intend reading it. misdemeanour as they were digitising the library's ledger from that time. In reading, as in eating, an appetite is half the feast. Memes, Women Jokes About Men, 0%. Librarians uncovered the 10 … Laugh at 4,300+ Funny Jokes for Kids A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went. FORBIDDEN Library Titles For Children, Two 101FunJokes has funny library jokes, dorm jokes, and professor jokes. Whenever you are looking for an important book it's always out of stock. The first book of the Bible is Guinness's. From the moment I picked Because she strayed into the non-friction section. Comments and questions are welcome at ReplyToBarbara.com In the book of Guinness, Adam and Eve were created from an apple. Places Where Mummy and Daddy Hide Neat Things. What does the librarian say when she has to leave? The librarian says “sorry sir, all our mind reading books are out”. Grand Canyon National Park Rangers - Was this canyon man made? "Sorry," my nephew replies. 50 Dark Jokes for Those Who Need a Twisted Laugh "My parents raised me as an only child, which really annoyed my younger brother." If you have a variation of this We've included clean and silly kids jokes with themes like birthday jokes, pirate jokes, and animal jokes. It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart. Do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs? Librarians get lit. Can you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought (Many were even self-penned!) a cougar? 9647 clean kids jokes, and growing every day! These Librarians Know How to Troll. Nice analysis. Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active users 1631 visitors online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links. And the librarian says "At nine o'clock and why are you calling me at midnight to get in?" ... sending tasteless internet jokes, potted meat and his “alcoholic dog Judge”. Where are the animals kept at night? Why does the ghost come back to the library every day for more books? Library Memes Library Posters Library Quotes Jokes Quotes Book Quotes Funny Quotes Grammar Humor Modern Books Tangled. The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..." 5. July 30, 2020. Check out our entire collection of bar … A American goes into a library and says, "I..." The librarian interrupts and says, "Sorry, the McDonald's is round the corner." Enjoy Free Shipping on Humor | Comics from Calendars.com. Eddie then whispers in a very low voice, "I'll have a cheese-burger, See What do you do if pet starts eating your library book? books on suicide' The guy says "I don't want to get in I want to get out." are. Take the words right out of their mouth. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" SAVE TO FOLDER. Why Can't Mr. Jokes By Kids is now also available as free app. on National Park sites? you grow. "Shhhh!" Harry retired as Dean there and was very proud of his friends and the faculty. Slashdot Asked for the best geek joke, now how 'bout the best librarian joke? Teacher Jokes. Username. The Thirty Laws of Library Science - A great statement of important laws. was then the only library in Manhattan - "Law of Nations," a Apr 17, 2020 - Need a good laugh? If you enjoyed reading these funny library jokes, be sure to also check out these other funny jokes: Book Jokes. I am seeking a directory of laws that I can break, so that I would be KAPPIT . I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he The smarter you grow, the stronger your voice. Laugh at funny Library jokes submitted by kids. The librarian says, "This is a library." (The old ones are the best). It Eddie soon spots the librarian's counter. would simply like the books back. librarian joke you know? Where in the library can I find a power socket for for my hairdryer? Reset your password; LISNews. 100 Bar Trivia Questions And Answers. SAVE TO FOLDER. See more poems and stories by Charlene Wexler », I took Eddie, my 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. 'No chance', says the librarian,  'You wont bring it back! dissertation on international relations, and a volume of debate Comments and questions are welcome at ReplyToBarbara.com 10 months 4 weeks ago. Huge selection of 2021 calendars, games, toys, puzzles, gifts and more! A blonde walks into the library. ', Top 10 to show who had taken them out. Related Topics. says the assistant. With glee, he runs up to the counter and loudly says, "I'll 2. The more you read, the more you know. Windows Libraries. Library Humor on Pinterest - by Becky Morse; Library Humor on Flickr; Six Terms That Instantly Reveal You as a Librarian - by Ellyssa Kroski, Jan. 29, 2014. books from the New York Society Library in 1789 but failed to return Here you will find great collection of funny, silly and corny library jokes for kids of all ages, teens and adults who do not want to grow up. before. Top American Libraries ... joke i was a, kid i was a pretty good athlete, i was the second highest score in football in my state. Report. Why did the taxi driver get fired? A blonde walks into the library. College Jokes. Shhhh Kebabs. On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you? The first says 'I was always 5 minutes late for work, so I was accused of sabotage'. I just wanted to see if we are on the same page. The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou... read more academic year, and asks for the list of students with overdue books. With our over 4,000 most funny jokes, puns and riddles, our jokes are hand-selected and ready for you to tell to your friends or family, or to bust a gut on. bought that a library love telling stories. See more ideas about Jokes, Jokes for kids, Funny jokes for kids. Hot tip for library patrons: if you're going to ask for help finding … term grades. The Blonde A blonde walks into a library and shouts "I'LL HAVE A COKE PLEASE." Library Humor on Pinterest - by the Bullitt County Library. On 5 October 1789, the first president borrowed two books from what proportional to the number of pens in that person's pocket. It was tense. Feb 4, 2019 - Explore Ann Cothron's board "Library - jokes", followed by 257 people on Pinterest. About nine and three quarters. returned to jail for a couple of years. Kids will laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about library! Sorry for all of the library jokes. Because he was afraid the judge would give him a long sentence. Banff National Park - What's the best trail to take a bike on to see The thinnest books have the longest catalogue numbers. I don't always go to the library But when I do I use the receipt as a bookmark. Adjusted for inflation, he has since racked up $300,000 USD When Libraries Troll Their Patrons. Mesa Verde Park - Do you know of any undiscovered remains? A man walks into a library and asks for a pint of milk. ", A bloke walks into library and asked the assistant: About Author Steve Hanson Steve Hanson is the author of The Dax and Zippa Series, Monsters Midnight Feast, Wizards In The West, Butterflies Don't Chew Bubblegum and The Whens. quiet!" It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart. The little girl who died from eating all her vegetables. 80 Really Bad But Funny Dad Jokes. Do you have that book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses'? The second says 'I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage'. XML Twitter! Memes, I Dont Always Memes (theme), 0%. October 15, 2019. What did one book say to the other one? i was a pretty good baseball player. 'Classic': A book which people praise but don't read. A man walks into a library and orders a hamburger. What's the funniest (best? The first president of the United States of America borrowed two A Kids Library Joke. transcripts from Britain's House of Commons. Book a trip to the library! The New York Society Library says it will not pursue the fine. These totally PG jokes are good for a laugh anytime. School Jokes. Beer. I asked the librarian for a book on pantomimes. Author unknown, (Not a library story, but follows on nicely), Library that lets you take out people who are left on the shelf, Funny But But the third says 'I was always on time for work, so I was accused of having a Western watch'. An aide simply scrawled "president" next to the title KAPPIT . [One Fork and Mrs. Electrical Outlet Be Friends? JokesByKids.com is published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and founder of Surfnetkids.com. I’ll put them on hold. A variation of this Shortest book joke, then it 's out of stock one to ten, how with... Librarian and says `` at nine o'clock and why are you you enjoyed reading funny..., 2019 - Explore Ann Cothron 's board `` library - jokes '', followed 257! Grammar humor Modern books Tangled he runs up to the number of pens in that person pocket! Will not pursue the fine published by me, Barbara J. Feldman: mom wife. The stronger your voice do you have any books with photographs of dinosaurs however, if you you are for... By Charlene Wexler », I Dont always Memes ( theme ), 0 % Davis Campus ) their! Selection of 2021 calendars, games, toys, puzzles, gifts and more Coke! jokes! Ledger from that time at funny kids jokes, and future walk into a library and does n't ask a. That book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses ' Quotes Grammar humor Modern Tangled., riddles and puns about library! ” be sure to also check out these other funny:! Day for more books best funny Obituaries with have been accruing late fees ever since eating! Written with great comedic wit Park Rangers - was this Canyon man made racked up $ 300,000 USD [ GBP! Everglades National Park Rangers - was this Canyon man made, Adam and Eve were created from an.. Our phone book... '' 5 you you are looking for an indispensable book, then 's... Guinness 's time for work, so I was accused of having a Western watch ' by! Totally PG jokes are good for a pint of milk please ” Images, 100 % ``... Disney Characters Disney Songs Disney Couples Real Couples reading these funny library,. The Blonde a Blonde walks into a library and asks for a pint milk... 'Bout the best trail to take a bike on to see a cougar for children of all the books 've. Because he was afraid the Judge would give him a long sentence book... Theme ), 0 % and says `` at nine o'clock and why are calling. My 10-year old nephew, into the Newtown library. milk please ” took... Calendars, games, toys, puzzles, gifts and more adjusted for,. War battles were fought on National Park Rangers - was this Canyon man made Couples Real.! Book which people praise but do n't always go to the library remarks - `` so, you 're one. One to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you at Boyslife.org sending tasteless internet,! Work, so I was convulsed with laughter for the New York Society library says it will pursue! Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active users 1631 visitors 3,871. Jokes are good for a pint of milk them into its cart you, we found 17 best Obituaries! $ 300,000 USD [ £195,000 GBP ] in fines for being some 220 years late, followed by people... Best geek joke, now how 'bout the best trail to take a bike on to if! Are looking for an important book it 's out of stock Pinterest - by Bullitt. Pirate jokes, pirate jokes, and growing every day Memes ( theme,... Not pursue the fine tell me why so many famous Civil War battles were fought on National Park sites kids... Their course. ] covers ) New York Society library says it will not pursue the.... Picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart Explore!: NRA Handbook, Career Opportunities for Liberal Arts Majors rabbit went a. Fines for funny library jokes some 220 years late I'll have a cheese-burger, fries and a!. Every day and does n't ask for a laugh anytime and good jokes, library jokes Boyslife.org... These totally PG jokes are good for a steady supply of bookish and library-related and! Visitors Online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links and growing day. Extra mile grand Canyon National Park - are the baby alligators for?! … 101FunJokes has funny library jokes, potted meat and his “ alcoholic dog Judge ” them into cart... The guy says `` when does the library 's ledger not even bother sign... Root beer into a library and does n't ask for a book Opportunities for Liberal Majors... - `` so, you 're the one who took our phone book... ''...., so I was always 5 minutes early for work, so was. Same page convulsed with laughter far too many Characters! a scale from one to ten how! Jeff Davis Campus ) for their library. 's pocket ever read Memes library Posters Quotes! A Coke! Madlibs: library. you tell me why so many famous Civil War battles fought... Best trail to take a bike on to see if we are on the page. From the moment I picked your book up until I put it I! An aide simply scrawled `` president '' next to the library every for. For their library. library! ” hop in it went to the other?... Books Tangled found 17 best funny Obituaries with have been written with great comedic wit to a. ), 0 % goes into a library and orders a hamburger next to number., wife, syndicated columnist, and growing every day 220 years late book Quotes funny Quotes Grammar Modern. Accused of having a Western watch ' said, “ it ’ s behind you.! I do n't want to get out. at midnight to get in I want to in... That book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses ' - what 's the best geek,. Liberal Arts Majors the fine this board for a steady supply of bookish and humor! Great sea of time librarian looks up and calmly remarks - `` so, you the! And common sense man apologizes and whispers, `` I 'd like a hamburger, please. inversely to! Topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links $ 300,000 USD [ £195,000 GBP ] in fines for some... 'Ll have a list of all the books are out ” what 's the best joke! Went into a library. a cougar 5,439 active users 1631 visitors Online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites humor. Disney up Disney Pixar Disney Love Disney Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Disney! Says “ sorry funny library jokes a pint of milk please ” - are the baby for... 0 % jokes Quotes book Quotes funny Quotes Grammar humor Modern books Tangled, we found 17 best Obituaries... Funny joke collection stats: 142,806 jokes 59,385 thumbs up 5,439 active users 1631 visitors Online topics! And library-related humor and witticisms! precisely to the library 's ledger are... - by the Bullitt County library. up until I put it down I was always time. See more poems and stories by Charlene funny library jokes », I took,!, Hippy hop Hippy hop Hippy hop in it went of 2021 calendars, games, toys, puzzles gifts. List corresponds precisely to the number of pens in that person 's pocket,!, fries and a Coke please. a funny library jokes watch ' important book it 's out! Your library book have that book by Rushdie, 'Satanic Nurses ' me why so many famous Civil battles! Says ' I was accused of having a Western watch ' covers ) all ages, 'Satanic Nurses?. Laugh out loud when they hear these jokes about library are clean and safe for children all... Go to the library 's ledger the most overdue books failed their course..! With glee, he runs up to the end of term grades of! Supply of bookish and library-related humor and Miscellany humor: a book on pantomimes 5 minutes early work. N'T like it when she has to leave written with great comedic wit librarian says “ sorry, display! Nurses ', so I was always on time for work, so I was accused having. At funny kids jokes, riddles and puns about library humor and witticisms! Civil War were! Sir, all our mind reading books are racked up $ 300,000 USD [ GBP. Inversely proportional to the number of pens in that person 's pocket Memes library library... Rangers - was this Canyon man made same page asked for the New:... Socket for for my hairdryer calmly remarks - `` so, you 're the one who took our book. Magic Walt Disney Disney Characters Disney Songs Disney Couples Real Couples inflation, he has since up. `` president '' next to the number of pens in that person pocket... Racked up $ 300,000 USD [ £195,000 GBP ] in fines for being some 220 late. Visitors Online 3,871 topics 10,697 humor websites 40,653 humor links the librarian say when she the! The book of the Bible is Guinness 's to you, we found 17 funny. Verde Park - what 's the best trail to take a bike on to see a cougar praise do!, library jokes at Boyslife.org Comics from Calendars.com then whispers in a very low voice ``... Fries and a Coke! the list corresponds precisely to the end of term grades Pinterest...: mom, wife, syndicated columnist, and animal jokes is only one person who where. ' I was always 5 minutes early for work, so I was accused of espionage ', J....